Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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