I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
why is half of my head shaved?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
