I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
