Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
