I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
