You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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