he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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