So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
