Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so that wasnt chicken after all
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
