Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Floor bacon is actually really good
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
