mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
