WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
