And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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