Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
