sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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