i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
