Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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