Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
