it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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