if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
handjob tips. give me some.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
