I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
