this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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