omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
