Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
