Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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