This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
