I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
