1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
