and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
