Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
