I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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