My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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