i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
