Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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