Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
