Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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