Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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