Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
