margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
