mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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