should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
