I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
