I wannas sexs uuuuu
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
