the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
