i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
