May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
