new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
