Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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