I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
