My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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